unforuntately, im not the world's best blogger.... so, i just copied and pasted margarets (see below) because its pretty much the exact same experience i had only worded a tiny bit differently.
enjoy.
So, where I last left off was me waking up Ashley by crying "llama!" That night we met up with a fellow couchsurfer at a little outside bar next to some live music. The only problem is, there was a ghost haunting the corner chair, and we were both negatively effected by it. The hippie from the beach made jewelry in exchange for shots of cachaca, and we went home slightly dazed due to our encounter with the spirit world. llama, brahma, obama, yo mama. We woke up the next day and headed out to find a bank (where monkeys tried to poop on our heads) and visit our new couchsurfing friend's "secret spot", which is a view of a lighthouse, very picturesque. We headed back to Aline's at about noonish. She apparently had set her alarm for 6am to get up and start drinking brahma (she was finally done with school!!) and she neglected to wake us up to join in. hahahaha.... Pinche Aline... so we headed up to our rooftop party. A serious 360 degree view of Vitoria, the ocean, and Vila Velha. So awesome. I made Ashley eat a chicken heart on a stick without her knowledge, which I must say was quite hilarious.
ashley: that was NOT funny at all actually.
We once again took advantage of the open bar, and before we knew it, this Brasilian that I swear must have been on Tool Academy-Brasil, threw us in the pool fully clothed and even shoed. So, I just swam around in the pool for a while with my Sunday`s best on. Things got crazier and crazier, as they will at a rooftop pool party, and we start to yell hilarious things into the bull horn. I made ashley a turkey out of a chocolate wrapper, but then the wind grabbed it and someone stepped on it, so my work of art turned into garbage and she rejected it. next thing I know, we are headed to the bus station to catch our 9oclock bus, and we got there at.... 9:01. Of course the one time that a bus actually leaves on time just happens to be the same instance that our sense of time is slightly blurred. So, our new couch surfing friends took us back to this beautiful farm hosue, where we proceeded to have a nice evening chat with his mother, where I discovered that I apparently have incredibly cute ears, which I always thought were a bit elvin. We slept on the floor once again, and then next morning woke up bright and early to go visit a far off waterfall. After a long drive through rolling countryside hills and cows that can walk on vertical land, we reached our destination. La Santa Leopoldina, it is a park dedicated to an Austrian Princess. Anyways, apparently there is an onca (like a small leopard) that lives there, but we didnt see it. We walked up the wataerfalls and where we heard a million bugs screaming at us in weird tones, so we are pretty sure they were trying to warn us of the incoing giant feline. We saw a cave and some morcegos (bats). We both fell asleep on the way back, as the music was rolling with the hills, and the sun was bright and hot.
We visited a music school for kids, where our new friend Joaquim volunteers his time to teach children to play the piano, and the kids spoke perfect english, how refreshing. We met up with Allison, our other new friend and at some point ate some more pizza. Now let me tell you about our new friend Alison. He is the funnniest cutest gay Brasilan man I have ever met. Unfortunately, he too is unlucky in love with men, so we decided that if we arent married in 5 years, we will then tie the knot in order to facilitate the exchange of green cards. Haven't you ever heard of a sham wedding? Anywho, we caught our bus that night, in fact we got there like an hour early and it got there an hour late (go figure), so we did not miss it!!
We slept most of the night and awoke in Porto Seguro. Due to the fact that neither of us speak portuguese and we didnt have a map, we spent quite some time deliberating which bus to take to our next couchsurfer. We were hungry and thirsty and i was and trying to figure out where the hell we were, when a kindly man hands ashley a giant poky fruit that is slimy and weighs about 78 pounds. So, we decided to get on the bus going to the beach because we know our friend lives on it. With broken portuguese and the kindness of strangers and a giant magical fruit that may or may not have really been a dragon egg, we made our way to the correct stop. this is where things got tricky. we didnt exactly have the best of directions, so we wandered aimlessly through neighborhoods in 150 degree weather with 100 percent humidity and backpacks that weigh at least 800 lbs each. And a giant poky fruit. That is when we met some more kind strangers, who helped us figure out where we were going and also informed us that the giant fruit was not ripe and could not be eaten, so having carried it for 6 kilometers was a complete waste of energy.....
We got to Gustavos house (what is with all the Gustavo signs? first, the movie, now this couchman... Gustavos come in 3s you know, the next one will bring a prophecy..) So, we get to this really nice house, and he is not home. So, the neighbor calls him for us, and he rushes home to let us in. Unfortunately, we are not very good communicators since we have no cell phone and the phone card wont work, so they didnt think we were going to show. They had plans to go to the beach, so they gave us a key and were on their way. We were happy to have a place to rest to ourselves, but then this giant puppy pooped on the floor, peed over everything, and then tried to bite us and rub his smell all over us, as if we needed to smell any worse. So, we got refreshed, ashley poured a drink out of my water bottle (which apparently she had filled with vokda, thank god I didnt take a swig of that), and we go on our merry way.
We figured out how to get to Arraial D'Ajuda, which is this little town across the water from Porto (which is also the first spot that the Portuguese landed way back when), and we walked about 3 miles to the beach. We kept thinking it was right around the corner.... We got to this little fishing beach, and took in the speedoes, the kite surfers, and the caiparihnas that were about 99% cachaca. I had to accompany it with an agua com gas. That is when we noticed that everyone was staring at something behind us. So, obviously we turned around to see what was going on, and what did we see?? 6 military police armed with automatic weapons of all kinds, out and ready to open fire. Seriously, they were wielding machine guns. They walked over to 3 kids that were sleeping behind a boat, and kicked them to get up. The 3 kids jumped to their feet and put their hands behind their heads. Due to the unfortunate fact that we suck at eavesdropping in Portuguese, we have no idea what happened. My guess is that these children were the head of a large drug cartel, but I suppose we will never know. Think City of God. And side note- this experience really brought me back to my Peruvian CIA agent days. Latinos in a uniform.
Anyways, after all of this excitement, we took a stroll up the hill to the little historical town that overlooks the ocean/jungle. We saw a very old, beautiful little church, and then mosied our way to the rich-hippy section of town. A hotel manager that speaks perfect english due to his time in Miami invited us into his restaurant to taste a home brewed beer and so how could we refuse? We didn't. We got a really nice outdoor table and listened to the Brasilian bands as they play in the streets. We had some delicious food, and Mucha (the bar manager) called up his American friend, Rick. Ashley proceeded to call him Carl for the next 4 hours. Rick is awesome, and speaks english, so that was a plus for us. We could finally have a conversation with another person. haha..
So, we decided to switch couches and just stay at Ricks, which just soo happens to be a cliffside mansion, overlooking the ocean with the jungle in the foreground with bright yelow birds dancing to and froe and palm trees every which way, and let us not forget to mention the horizon-pool or whatever those things are called. Paradise. Paraiso. Paradisio if you well. I am not kidding, I dont know how we get ourselves into these situations, but hey, we are not complaining.
We woke up yesterday on a memory foam mattress, two feather pillows, and 10000 thread count egyptian cotton sheets. we also woke up to a pool party, lil wayne was blaring from the speakers, the palm trees were blowing in the breeze, and the ocean was bright and teal behind the green jungle. we heard monkeys and birds over the lil wayne and there were a million gorgeous brasilian girls dancing in the pool. where are we?? they were all so nice, so we proceeded to drink grape-koolaid and vodka for breakfasts, and learn how to dance the samba. I am not kidding-where are we?? Coolest place on earth. That is where. This is when we learned that the reason that brasilian girls have such nice posteriors is that they are always walking on cobblestone streets with 6 inch heels on. First of all, no one told me to bring my red high heels, and second of all, I can barely walk on cobblestones without tripping while wearing tennis shoes, so although the mystery was solved, the mission will not be accomplished. We have also noticed that the women only wear thongs and the men only wear speedos. People think we are conservative, and they tend to ask if we are traveling nuns. That is, until they take a sip of our kool-aid.
So after the pool party, we headed down to the beach on some moto-taxis. Mom- close your eyes for the next sentence. We hopped on the back of these crazy little motorcycles and flew through the town with the wind in our hair and the bugs in our mouths. Ok Mom, I know you read that anyways, so I will now inform you that I yes I did wear a helmet, so dont worry. we went down to a beautiful beach and people watched, quite a fun thing to do in brasil. we did not this time, however, witness any children being held at automatic gunpoiont. After the beach, we headed up to Portinos, a restaurant where you pile up food like a buffet, and then you pay by the kilo. odd, yet it works. so I ate a bunch of good brasilian food, and we then realized that we had to find a way to get our stuff back from Gustavos. luckily Rick has a friend named David that has a car (a little bug from the 70s), and we convinced him to drive us to the old couch in order to pick up our stuff so that we didnt have to take 2 busses and a ferry to get there.
We headed over there, and met up with our old pal Gustavo. We felt bad having not spent much time with him, but when we saw more poop on the floor, our decison was sealed- cliffside mansion it was. the decisions was sealed even further when ashley grabbed her pack and 7 million ants poured out of it. I thought she was going to cry. seriously. they were the tiny ones, the ones that taste like coconuts. so, we went on our way and stopped in the downtown for a little capeta. it is like a pina colada only with extra brasilian zing. we made it to the ferry just as it was leaving, and then somehow ashley talked the captain into letting her drive it. so far, she has driven 3 brasilian cars and s ship. I dont particularly enjoy driving, but she appaertnly is the new vin diesel. does that make me paul walker? I have no idea. We came back to our mansion and made some caipavodshkas, listened to some music, and enjoyed the view. We decided then and there that if someone is wearing a cape, you should listen to them.
We woke up this morning once again to a pool party in our paradise. ricks opening a bar here, so the entire staff came over to test out menu items. we have been sitting here sampling delicious food for the past few hours. seriously. life is good. almost too good. it is scaring me. knock on wood. someone just passed us a fruit salad and the odds of us not running outside and hiding behind a bush to eat the rest of it are pretty much slim to none. no problem.
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