Day 1 in Pifo Ecuador

I am staying at Margaret's uncles farm in Pifo Ecuador. I have no plans other than attempting the 700 steps daily so i can loose the copious amounts of weight i have gained from drinking massive amounts of Brahma and Caperinas in Brasil the past month. Also, they have llamas at the very top and many, many Pilsners to be drank.

There are more dogs in this town than there are people. One dog, a small poodle, once bit margaret in the leg a few years back and now she has panic attacks every time she walks past the dog. in fact, she actually refused to walk past the poodle by herself so she will stand at the top of the hill and scream for her Uncle Matt or her cousin Alex to accompany her down the hill to the house.

i was doing some business on the toilet last night before bed when in the corner of my blue eyeball i saw the biggest spider of my life. a freaking terranchala. It was mid-business so there was nothing that i could do but hang tight and hope for the best. Me and the terranchala had a stare down contest and im pretty sure he won because i couldnt handle being so close to it so i cut my session short and ran to the other house to get Uncle Matt's help. He began to reassure me that it wouldnt harm me and that they aren't poisonous but i didnt believe him so i googled it and caught him in his own lie. Early this morning, I woke up from a spider dream and i caught a spider crawling off my chest and onto the shelf thing next to my bed. Im pretty sure that because I had Uncle Matt 'take care of the terranchala' last night, that i had unfortunately, unintentionally declared a war against the 8 legged insects... i am now incredibly paranoid....

Day 31

Good Advice that I got from a taxi driver in Salvador about my deaf ear:

If you have ear problems, warm the breast milk of a mother with twins and dribble it into the problematic ear.

.....noted..... the same taxi driver also gave me a branch with many leaves still attached and said to boil the leaves into a tea to cure any indigestion problem that may occur. The entire trip, I had no stomach issues until i touched that stupid plant and then for the next day, i really wasnt feeling up to taking over the world so much.....

DAY 31:

tasty balls

1. Margaret and I slept in the Rio airport before heading to Lima Peru. I woke up around 4am and went to get 2 cups of cafè, a pizza pocket type thing for me and 2 balls of fluffy fried bread for Margaret (shes a vegetarian). I walked back to our camping spot right in front of the airport check in stand and woke maggie up by handing her two fresh baked balls and some coffee. shes really the only person i know that could handle such an epic wake-up call.

2. Whats the point of soap dispensers if there isn`t any soap to dispense??

3. We flew over Titi Caca Lake which is between Bolivia and Peru. It was beautiful!

4. Thank the Lord for airlines such as Taka who give you free alcoholic beverages all flight long!!

5. Sat at the Lima, Peru airport for 12 hours and drank beer after beer after beer after beer after beer, etc. 16 total to be exact.....

6. Taka airlines also gave me free crayons

7. I learned that i am subconsciously obsessed with the color green... and bulky touristy hiking boots annoy me.

8. A 4 year old Peruvian boy came and sat at out table during our beer meeting and wanted to get in on my Taka colored crayons. He said his name was Diego and that Michael Jackson had a black jacket and wore a star on his head.

9. Margaret and I are cooler than most people. (is that being humble?)

10.

Im not picky, I just know what I like.

11. I hit 3 countries in 2 days. Now, Lets talk about SUCCESS.

12. The guy behind me in the airport had a baby upside down in a shopping bag. This is clearly a culture difference.

13. I spilled the salt shaker 9 beers into the beer meeting and Margaret freaked out and had a minor panic attack. She made me throw salt over my left shoulder while at the same time, wiping the spilled salt off the table.

14. This is our poem to Paula and Fransisco from Recife Brasil:

There once were 2 girls on a quest,
they put their portugese to the test
they went to brasil and drank cachaça until
they found Chico and Paula the best.

The 4 of them had a great time
with Pitù, sugar, and green limes
Chiclete and Skol and eating crab in the sol
And we even committed a crime

Brasilian primas- thank you so much
and we better all keep in touch
we`ll see you soon
dancing under the moon
at your wedding, carnival and the such.


Goodbye Brasil!
Hello ECUADOR!

things i adore about brasil

in no particular order and always more to come....

1. colorful buildings
2. Flavia, Celline, Paula, Chicão and all of the family members in between
3. world class beaches
4. cachaça
5. capieora (crazy fighting dance)
6. cobble stone streets
7. monkeys and lizards
8. people honking horns for no reason (this amuses me)
9. the rules of the road (there arent any)
10. the heels woman where (especially when they are walking in heels on cobble stone streets. this also amuses me)
11. fruit falling off trees and then i get to eat it
12. meat on a stick
13. barbacue cheese on a stick
14. surfing
15. samba
16. brasilian music (more specifically CHICLETE COM BANANA... i saw them in concert and he touched my hand)
17. the creative architecture
18. Brahma, Skol, Chopp, Bohemian. (These are all Brasilian brewed beers)
19. Portugese (its a incredibly complex language)
20. graffiti
21. rinding horses in the country
22. all of the lights. this country is blanketed in sparkling, white, blinking, colorful lights
23. the sound of birds chirping constantly
24. the Delta Experience
25. the money looks like monopoly money
26. yellow brasilian jerseys
27. the colorful clothes people wear
28. hanging clothes up to dry in the sun
29. having maids
30. living in mansions and penthouses
31. restaraunts that charge by the kilo (paying for what you eat? what a concept!!)
32. not having a cell phone
33. there is music on every single street corner
34. everyone is always smiling because there are literally "no problem"s here





Things I dont think I will be missing so much:
1. passing out on crowded bus rides
2. Toilet Paper that is really wax paper. (whats the point?)
3. ketchup that is really raspberry jam....?
4. French fries cost me 10 reaies down here!!
5. the smell of some of the rivers... makes me gag. seriously.
6. trash and litter
7. Germans (margaret and ashley not included as we are also germans)
8. mosquitos (margeret and i counted 50 bites on my right arm alone)
9. crack and crackheads
10. phone cards and pay phones (unless the payphone looks like a sombrero)
11. ANTS


so, im about to take off from brasil. its sad. i love it here. the culture is incredible. Im pretty sure my $300 visa was worth it but i still want to come back for more.

the people we met along the way have been incredible. more than hospitable. its been an amazing time and i will forever miss this place but i'll be back. i mean, lets face it. i do have a 5 year visa now and ther World Cup is in 2014. Im just saying. Plus, theres Carnival, The Olympics and much, much more Brahma and Cachaça to be had.

Ciao for now my giant amighina.

Hello Ecuador.

I've conquered the city of Recife

So far i've drivien 3 cars, a ferry from Arraial D´Ajuda to Porto Seguro, i´ve stolen a motorcycle, and i rode a horse.
Ashley: 6 ..... Brasilian Modes of Transportion: 0

A met Paula and Fransisco who are nothing less than a big deal.
I've been living in a penthouse.
I drink free Pitú Casaça every day.
I had my first "clubbin" experience which was WAY beyond extravagant in every single aspect.
I had VIP passes to the Requebra Brasil Music Festival where I could touch the stage and get free drinks all night. I did just this.
At the festival I got to see Chiclete Com Banana who is the MOST famous brasilian band.

The concert was killer. I have NEVER been to such a huge event in my life. Or have ever seen something so intense even on TV. There were thousands upon thousands of people there. About 50,000 heads. We had to get tickets to go and when you showed up at the door with your ticket, they would give you a t-shirt. the VIP shirts were white. so we go inside and there is a booth there that customizes your shirt if you want. So they cut mine all up and made it fit me WAY better and made my v neck into a c neck and now its a tank-top instead of a t-shirt. that was rad. get this. they also had a plethra of badazzles there so i hot glued the 8 stars of gold on the front right on top of the yellow country of brasil that was already on the shirt when i got it and rocked some Alaskan pride.

I was up next to the stage and I just want to make one thing clear. I touched the lead singers hand. Well.... really, he touched my hand. But I just really want to rub that in Chicão's face because he just happens to be in love with the lead singer.

there was so much trash at the festival. it was everywhere. i was appauled. also, everyone was making out. seriously. brasilians LOVE to freaking make out. they make out under trees, on benches, leaning up against the railing, in the middle of a crowd, in the middle of DANCE FLOOR, in front of the line to get free booze, seriously. everywhere. and if you werent making out, they were peeing. anywhere and everywhere. they would just whip their naughties out and potty right next to you for all they cared. it was gross. i mean, think if 1983 people peed in the middle of the street at the festival. that street would smell like a dirty toilet.

anyway. so we danced the night away at the festival with beers on our heads and in our hands. We ALWAYS made sure we were packing at least two beers at every moment of the concert.

Moving on to some other incredible Recife moments in time:
I've eaten crab in every single shape and form you could possibly imagine eating it. Its true. Ask Margaret. She knows about the 84934723847 different ways to taste those tasty morsels who gave their lives for the suppression of my appetite.

So we spent an afternoon meeting and mingling with Chicão's family in the country. A couple hours go by and all of a sudden we happen to find out that his uncle has a horse around the corner. And he didnt tell us this 4 days ago because....? (right, we havent figured that one out either). Needless to say, I rode that horse like its never been ridden before and me and the horse bonded. We had multiple moments. Seriously. The pasture was huge and the sun was setting and the smell of the wildflowers, and the sound of the calm wind blowing through the mango and banana trees. The way the horse gallopped across the fields with such pride and finess. .... I love horses. We spent the rest of the afternoon eating homecooked meals, sipping on whiskey, and laughing with one of the most adorable grandmas I've ever met. Shes my new amighina.

I went to jail today. its true. they have this place called Casa Cultura which is a super super old jail that is now a market and every cell is a different little store you walk into and buy touristy trinkets. I imagined what type of people were locked away in those same cells many years ago.

Then, we went to the pier and hopped in a tiny skiff and cruised around the Atlantic Ocean for a couple hours. We went across the channel at one point and got out and walked on this island type thing that holds 33 monuments for the same guy. The sun was setting when we were out there and then as soon as it began to get dark, all of the monuments were lit up with all different colors!! One thing about Brasil is they definetly like lights. EVERYTHING is lit up at night! Its incredible!

So, this is my partial story of why I have conquered the town.

Now, for those of you who have expressed concern about our health, I want to show you a little something Margaret calls the food pyramid:
6-11 servings of grains: beer
2-4 servings of fruit: wine, limes in caipirinhas, and exotic fruity caipivoshkas
3-5 servings of veggies: vodka is made of potatoes
2-3 servings of proteins: the little ants that crawl into my kool-aid-vodkas
2-3 servings of dairy: capetas have cream in them
use sparingly-fats and sweets: caipirinhas have sugar in them, but let's face it, this category isn't healthy, so let's not worry about it.

Im browning nicely.

Being in a poor country... its sad to see. Brasil isnt as 3rd world as i thought but there is an intense dichotomy of classes here. you´re either poor, or filthy rich... really. its crazy. Children younger than 10 are selling individual cigs, pirated dvds, and drugs in the streets to tourists here. its so sad. someone told me the parents have their youngest child do those types of jobs because the tourists feel bad and are more likely to give money.

but its a wierd feeling because there are thousands of little kids sleeping in doorways here with no shoes and they´re covered in dirt and then there is me. this little white american who sightsees all of the horrible attributes of the country and then when im done here, i fly back to my cozy bed (actually i dont have a bed or a home when i fly home but there is still a big difference). i wish i could do more instead of just walk by and stare.

on another note:

i went to salvador the other day. my bus arrived from illeús around 6am and i took a city bus into town where i was dropped at the center. i strutted across the street to the elevetor which takes you up to old town salvador. in old town, i went to the historic center which is full of HUGE buildings with incredibly old old old architecture and beauitful churches and colorful buildings. i kept walking to a part of old town called Pelourino and in the center i found a bunch of people doing copaeira which is like a type of dance that looks like their fighting. those guys are ripped and they can do one arm hand stands for minutes at a time. then i went down to the huge indoor market which was cool but really everything looks the same and im pretty sure i saw all that stuff in another indoor market when i was in barbados.

around 7pm. i hopped on another bus to head to recife. 14 hours later....... i made it.

margarets friend francsico had his incredible girlfriend scoop us up from the bus station and she took us to probably the best restraunt i have ever been too and i ate like a champion and she kept ordering capirinas and of course i kept drinking them so by the time lunch was done with, i was way too drunk for me own good. i started talking like a pirate.

then she took us to olinda. north of recife. they have shark signs everywhere. she plopped us at a gay bar on the beach and ordered us a skol while she worked distributing Pitú (a brand of caçasa) and then drank with us when she was done (but still working). she loves her job.

then, being drunk, paula showed us the town of Olinda. the streets here in olinda are beautiful. they´re tiny little cobble stone streets so narrow only one car can squeeze through at a time and all of the houses on each side are connected and lined up together but look so different. they each have their own character painted either yellow, pink, lime green, sea green, blue, orange... every color you can think of there is a building painted that color in the streets of olinda. the architecture is amazing too. rounded edges that peak at the top and shoot up into the sky like a dagger. the buildings look sturdy. like they´ve been there since the 1800s and they´re still holding strong.

So margaret´s friend fransisco and his girlfriend, Paula, well, they´re freaking rad people. paula works for Pitú which is a caçasa distrubuter. she gave me a bottle.

last night, paula got us free tickets to a concert to this local club. you know how in movies there is that divider stand that forms lines outside the club door? well, there was definetly one of those and we skipped to the very front because we were "on the list". then we went inside and all the tables at the club were reserved so paula "pulled some strings" and we sat down at one of the best tables in the club. no big deal.

then we drank and drank these delicious brasilian drinks and more people kept buying me drinks because i have blue eyes and one guy told me he wanted to take me out on his boat and i said no and then i danced because the club kept playing incredible american remixes of all these amazing songs that i forgot i missed so much until i heard them in a brasilian club. then, a really famous brasilian band got on stage and played all night long. by the way, i love brasilian music. so i danced. i danced like ive never danced before. then around 2 we called it and went to paula´s penthouse which stands taller than any other building around for miles. we have our own room there.

sleeping in hammocks

i love sleeping in hammocks.

i now have 36 mosquito bites on my left arm.

i surfed all day again today and swallowed more salt water than i think i ever thought possible.

it reminds me when i went on my first family trip. we went to california and my little brother, shawn, i think was about 11 at the time, jumped into the ocean and came up from the water screaming and wiping his eyes yelling, `there is salt in the water!!` hahahah. he had no idea and it was so cute....

anyway, but really. i spend all day at the bus stop yesterday. on the door, it said in portugese, open from 13:30-18:30. so, i was there from around 1:30 to 5:30 and the employee NEVER showed up. today, i decided NOT to waste an entire day for a freaking bus ride so i went to the beach, surfing, layed around, got free beer (i dont know why im so good at getting free beer but it seriously happens ALL the time) and swam in the ocean. then, i went to the bus station around 5:15 and the employee is STILL not there AAAANNNNDDD, the mail is still in the exact same place in front of the door as if they havent been at work for a few days!!

in Bahía: do not expect to be anywhere at any certain time because you´re on bahía time

for this next part of the blog:


DAD AND MOM: please, do not read anymore..... seriously......









i got a tattoo tonight in itacare. im very stoked.

i can sleep when im dead

Its true. Margaret wont let me sleep. She says I can catch up on sleep on the next 16 hour bus ride to Recife in a day or two. but seriously, we havent slept for days. okay thats not true, i took a 3 hour siesta in the hammock on the deck of my pousada this morning when i came home at 7am (after the sun rose).

we went out last night to celebrate the german girls big day. then, we might have ended up with our chilean travel band at some point making music in the cobble stone streets while they talked about teaching their babies to be capuera masters. all of a sudden, a friend from Paris steals us away and the next thing i know, i am in the back of a tattoo shop with a local band and im playing drums and everyone is feeding me drinks and i cant stop drinking and i cant stop playing the drums and singing songs that at the time, sounded like Bob Marley, but really, who knows at this point.

all of a sudden, i heard a rooster crow and i noticed the sun was rising. margaret and i blinked once and we were off to start a new adventure.

this mostly consisted of finding our way back to the best pousada in the world. which.... let me tell you, was incredibly difficult as all streets look the same and my eyes were blurry as bees. we made it though. in one piece.

today:
1.café
2.met a crackhead (doesnt come recommended)
3.walked to praia with a longboard
4.surfed my heart out
5.ziplined across an entire beach
6.found a hidden beach (but no treasure)
7.napped in a hammock

Itacaré

The time came to depart Arraial D´Ajuda. Here I sit on the bus headed north to the next town. I never want to leave though. We cant fight the invitable any longer and off we go right after fulfilling the legend of the holy water. The time in Arraial was well spent kicking it at a mansion CASA KATURA to be specific.(www.casakatura.com)

SHOUT OUT TO RICK FOR BEING SUCH A BIG DEAL. (ps, i really am bringing my family down)

I am not ready to leave at all though. The sounds i hear dancing around in my ear, the warm wind i feel on my skin, the yellow moon i watch peak over the horizon, cliffside casa katura, poolside parties, beautiful beaches.... incredibly bittersweet. Music streams through my ears while i sit staring out the tinted bus windows- trees pass me by. Houses fade into a far away distance. My life is a movie of my dreams. where i am, i watch as cows graze endless pastures. Palm trees stretch towards the sun. Little cars fly fast to their next destination. destined nation. Meanwhile, I listen to murder by death sing me lullabies that make my eyes more and more droopy. when i wake up, ill be in a new place.




Nicolas Muller said i had to come here. And look, if a pro snowboarder gave you a suggestion, bets are that you would take it. soo... i came. and here i am.

ITACARÈ thrives on surfing, raggae, and ecoturism. What else more could you want? Chocolate? well, they have that too and its some seriously tasty chocolate at that.

Im staying in a pousada near the center of town which is only a few blocks away from world class beaches. My roommate is a girl from germany that i met on the bus heading to the town from Porto Segura a few days ago. The guy that lives below me is from Israel and he reads books upside down and backwards.

I went to the beach last night for a huge party i had heard about and wound up kicking it at a much smaller shindig a bit down the beach because they had drums, lots of drums, and this crazy flute thing, and dancing men whos faces were covered in tattoos. I happened to stumble upon a motercycle and i may or may not have hopped on it, started it up, and took it for a joy ride up and down the beach. had it been equipted with more fuel, i would have made margie get on the back and we would have rode off into the distance towards boliva.

let me tell you the importance of a moquito net. i have 27 mosquito bites on my left arm alone. not to mention all of my other limbs.... (i hope i dont get malaria. that would be a penny pincher)

this morning, i woke up, made some instant coffee, and headed to the beach to get my surf on. sure enough, i caught many many waves AND have pictures to prove it. (jaycen you would be proud) ps. two thumbs up for waterproof cameras. I met a lifeguard who bought me french fries. And then i watched as he ran all the way down the beach and dove into the ocean and frantically swam towards a very dangerous current section of the praia. A young boy about age 8 and 2 young girls got caught in the current and were being sucked down into the water and farther and farther out and couldnt get back to shore. The lifeguard saved their lives. It was pretty incredible to witness. My fries needed ketchup and pepper.

All of a sudden, a zipliner flew through the air over the entire length of the beach i was surfing at. (random)

Lets get serious though... I came on this trip with about 3000$. now, i have a bit less than 1500 and i still have about 3 months to go. if only i took travis´s juggling lessons more seriously in sitka.... damn. either way, i have to start making jewelery and make walks up and down the beach selling stuff because this money is only going to get me so far. i had to buy a plane ticket rencently from Recife Brasil to Quito Ecuador and that cost me almost $600. (thank goodness for tax returns and Christmas!!!) ohh the stresses of backpacking around another continent...

let your lights shine through

recap of the night event

yes, we might have had a wee too much vodka mixed with kool-aide... but its really not our faults.

we went to a party to reconize the opening of a brand new pousada. twas nice. and the rooms were nice. and the free food was nice. and the free beer was equally nice.

as for the impromptu rap battle in the corner, well... that, my mostly american friends, was something special. and let me tell you, it is VERY hard to explain in words... but if you listen to the Bob Marley + Lauren Hill song: Turn the Lights Down Low, on repeat for 30 minutes and drink capininas until the sun rises with copious amounts of dancing in the mix under a yellow full moon, i think you may be perhaps, on to something... but until then, mi amighina, you will really never know exactly how i feel at this very moment in time.

until itacare...

"what i do to you in your sleep is my biddniss"

gosh darnit.

margaret made my kool-aide vodka drink way stronger than her own. also, did you know, that in some cultures (mainly miama and chisago) you can seriously get SHOT for making the koolaide wrong? our amighina confirms that the reason why the guy actually got shot was because he not only made it horribly, but that mother effer drank the rest of the koolaide too!!!! who does that!??! the more i think about it, the more i understand why that jive turkey was shot in the first place.

margie and ashley's plan of attack:
#1. get drunk
#2. party like we've never partied before in Arraial on our last night
#3. draw more animal pictures

another day at the beach

Rick woke us up bright and early, shouting things like, hurry up! some people have to work around here! hurry up! lets go to the beach! i want to tide pool! hurry up. get up! lets go swimming at the beach! you cant sleep all day!" then i giggled because anyone whoh knows me, KNOWS that i can indeed sleep all day. but, nevertheless, i agreed thatt tidepooling sounded like a gem for the mornings activities. So, i rolled off my side of the bed and gently pushed margaret off hers. we headed to the beach.

YOU: how did you get to the beach?
ME: what a great question!!!
YOU: those are all i have.... great questions...
ME: uuhh... right, anyway- we took a MOTO-TAXI!!!!! (yes mom and dad, i DID wear a helmet.) and the best thing is, they go so fast and cut throuogh traffic like you wouldnt believe and they only cost 4Reales which is like, 2 american $$.

NOTE: i took a video while on the back seat of the moto-taxi. will post eventually....

so now we're at the beach and we walk over to the next beach called Mucage Beach (which is my personal favorite). There we found a nice spot where margie was out of the sun and where i could be 1/2 in the sun and 1/2 out of the sun.

the events are as follows:
-first things first: order a BRAHMA (yes, we know its only 8AM right now. which is 3AM alaska time)

- went tidepooling and saw thousands of sea urchins, sea cucumber, sea stars, etc.
- drank another brahma
- went swimming
- journal wrote
- bought some tasty fried coconut that made my heart melt
- brahma
- bought a bathing suit from a lady selling them on the beach
- swimming
- met a guy names Julio that was a photographer and used my camera to take a photoshoot of margaret and i
- met another guy that gave me his necklace and then went home to get a sarong to match my new bathing suit i just bought on the beach
- the best batatas freitas i've ever had
- got a moto-taxi ride home after stopping at the market to buy beans and vodka. (probably the best store bought combination ever.... im just saying)

we never made it on the bus. No problem.

i remember waking up around 6 something in the morning to rick saying something about how its really really hard to make it out of the town because there are many, many things that can go wrong the last minute. i didnt really see what he was talking about and i dozed off as i usually do into my own dream world when someone talks to me and wondered about all of the things that could go wrong in such a small town with 6 hours to get to the airport.

things that went wrong:
1. spent an extra hour too long at the beach during low tide looking at the thousands of sea urchins, sea stars, sea cucumbers, living coral, fish, etc.
2. Moonda's house
3. The Cafe stop (probably what caused it)
4. The bank stop
5. The Acai stop
6. The ferry that was supposed to leave every 30 minutes but during this particular hour, left on the hour which swallowed 30 precious minutes. and no, i didnt get to drive the ferry this time

so.... because rick didnt fly out to chicago, we didnt get on the bus. we thought that was a fair deal. and our thought process was: why wouldnt we want to live in a mansion for a while longer?

so, we're back at the mansion. i took a 5 hour nap in a hammick overlooking the jumgle and the Atlantic Ocean after maybe inhaling some natural herbs. Then i woke up and strolled to the market to retrieve my long awaiting giant avacado to make some guac (ann, you would be proud).

thank goodness for margarets professional job at making kool-aid/vodka drinks which.... APPARENTLY, you can get shot for making wrong!! (true story. ask for details in person as it is very, very detailed and gorry.)

who knows what tomorrow will bring though. i mean, tonight, the moon is full and beautiful and i know its making the tide all crazy for tomorrow mornings tide pool adventure. This happens after the morning Capurera which is like a yoga, ju-jitsu, aerobic, dance session that gets ganster at some particular points.....

i have a feeling there will probably be more window shopping because i have no money to spend but i want all these things and then i hear the sound of marge's sweet voice of reason in my only ear (the left one=the good one) and then i set the arcticle of clothing down ever so slowly and back away from the rest of the merchandise. its getting easier though... i think....

the place that i live:
www.casakatura.com

check it out.

blink once if you want to stay in Arraial. Blink once if you want a Brahma. Blink once if you want to swim in the pool. Blink once if you think we should eat a mango off the tree.

unforuntately, im not the world's best blogger.... so, i just copied and pasted margarets (see below) because its pretty much the exact same experience i had only worded a tiny bit differently.

enjoy.



So, where I last left off was me waking up Ashley by crying "llama!" That night we met up with a fellow couchsurfer at a little outside bar next to some live music. The only problem is, there was a ghost haunting the corner chair, and we were both negatively effected by it. The hippie from the beach made jewelry in exchange for shots of cachaca, and we went home slightly dazed due to our encounter with the spirit world. llama, brahma, obama, yo mama. We woke up the next day and headed out to find a bank (where monkeys tried to poop on our heads) and visit our new couchsurfing friend's "secret spot", which is a view of a lighthouse, very picturesque. We headed back to Aline's at about noonish. She apparently had set her alarm for 6am to get up and start drinking brahma (she was finally done with school!!) and she neglected to wake us up to join in. hahahaha.... Pinche Aline... so we headed up to our rooftop party. A serious 360 degree view of Vitoria, the ocean, and Vila Velha. So awesome. I made Ashley eat a chicken heart on a stick without her knowledge, which I must say was quite hilarious.

ashley: that was NOT funny at all actually.

We once again took advantage of the open bar, and before we knew it, this Brasilian that I swear must have been on Tool Academy-Brasil, threw us in the pool fully clothed and even shoed. So, I just swam around in the pool for a while with my Sunday`s best on. Things got crazier and crazier, as they will at a rooftop pool party, and we start to yell hilarious things into the bull horn. I made ashley a turkey out of a chocolate wrapper, but then the wind grabbed it and someone stepped on it, so my work of art turned into garbage and she rejected it. next thing I know, we are headed to the bus station to catch our 9oclock bus, and we got there at.... 9:01. Of course the one time that a bus actually leaves on time just happens to be the same instance that our sense of time is slightly blurred. So, our new couch surfing friends took us back to this beautiful farm hosue, where we proceeded to have a nice evening chat with his mother, where I discovered that I apparently have incredibly cute ears, which I always thought were a bit elvin. We slept on the floor once again, and then next morning woke up bright and early to go visit a far off waterfall. After a long drive through rolling countryside hills and cows that can walk on vertical land, we reached our destination. La Santa Leopoldina, it is a park dedicated to an Austrian Princess. Anyways, apparently there is an onca (like a small leopard) that lives there, but we didnt see it. We walked up the wataerfalls and where we heard a million bugs screaming at us in weird tones, so we are pretty sure they were trying to warn us of the incoing giant feline. We saw a cave and some morcegos (bats). We both fell asleep on the way back, as the music was rolling with the hills, and the sun was bright and hot.

We visited a music school for kids, where our new friend Joaquim volunteers his time to teach children to play the piano, and the kids spoke perfect english, how refreshing. We met up with Allison, our other new friend and at some point ate some more pizza. Now let me tell you about our new friend Alison. He is the funnniest cutest gay Brasilan man I have ever met. Unfortunately, he too is unlucky in love with men, so we decided that if we arent married in 5 years, we will then tie the knot in order to facilitate the exchange of green cards. Haven't you ever heard of a sham wedding? Anywho, we caught our bus that night, in fact we got there like an hour early and it got there an hour late (go figure), so we did not miss it!!

We slept most of the night and awoke in Porto Seguro. Due to the fact that neither of us speak portuguese and we didnt have a map, we spent quite some time deliberating which bus to take to our next couchsurfer. We were hungry and thirsty and i was and trying to figure out where the hell we were, when a kindly man hands ashley a giant poky fruit that is slimy and weighs about 78 pounds. So, we decided to get on the bus going to the beach because we know our friend lives on it. With broken portuguese and the kindness of strangers and a giant magical fruit that may or may not have really been a dragon egg, we made our way to the correct stop. this is where things got tricky. we didnt exactly have the best of directions, so we wandered aimlessly through neighborhoods in 150 degree weather with 100 percent humidity and backpacks that weigh at least 800 lbs each. And a giant poky fruit. That is when we met some more kind strangers, who helped us figure out where we were going and also informed us that the giant fruit was not ripe and could not be eaten, so having carried it for 6 kilometers was a complete waste of energy.....

We got to Gustavos house (what is with all the Gustavo signs? first, the movie, now this couchman... Gustavos come in 3s you know, the next one will bring a prophecy..) So, we get to this really nice house, and he is not home. So, the neighbor calls him for us, and he rushes home to let us in. Unfortunately, we are not very good communicators since we have no cell phone and the phone card wont work, so they didnt think we were going to show. They had plans to go to the beach, so they gave us a key and were on their way. We were happy to have a place to rest to ourselves, but then this giant puppy pooped on the floor, peed over everything, and then tried to bite us and rub his smell all over us, as if we needed to smell any worse. So, we got refreshed, ashley poured a drink out of my water bottle (which apparently she had filled with vokda, thank god I didnt take a swig of that), and we go on our merry way.

We figured out how to get to Arraial D'Ajuda, which is this little town across the water from Porto (which is also the first spot that the Portuguese landed way back when), and we walked about 3 miles to the beach. We kept thinking it was right around the corner.... We got to this little fishing beach, and took in the speedoes, the kite surfers, and the caiparihnas that were about 99% cachaca. I had to accompany it with an agua com gas. That is when we noticed that everyone was staring at something behind us. So, obviously we turned around to see what was going on, and what did we see?? 6 military police armed with automatic weapons of all kinds, out and ready to open fire. Seriously, they were wielding machine guns. They walked over to 3 kids that were sleeping behind a boat, and kicked them to get up. The 3 kids jumped to their feet and put their hands behind their heads. Due to the unfortunate fact that we suck at eavesdropping in Portuguese, we have no idea what happened. My guess is that these children were the head of a large drug cartel, but I suppose we will never know. Think City of God. And side note- this experience really brought me back to my Peruvian CIA agent days. Latinos in a uniform.

Anyways, after all of this excitement, we took a stroll up the hill to the little historical town that overlooks the ocean/jungle. We saw a very old, beautiful little church, and then mosied our way to the rich-hippy section of town. A hotel manager that speaks perfect english due to his time in Miami invited us into his restaurant to taste a home brewed beer and so how could we refuse? We didn't. We got a really nice outdoor table and listened to the Brasilian bands as they play in the streets. We had some delicious food, and Mucha (the bar manager) called up his American friend, Rick. Ashley proceeded to call him Carl for the next 4 hours. Rick is awesome, and speaks english, so that was a plus for us. We could finally have a conversation with another person. haha..

So, we decided to switch couches and just stay at Ricks, which just soo happens to be a cliffside mansion, overlooking the ocean with the jungle in the foreground with bright yelow birds dancing to and froe and palm trees every which way, and let us not forget to mention the horizon-pool or whatever those things are called. Paradise. Paraiso. Paradisio if you well. I am not kidding, I dont know how we get ourselves into these situations, but hey, we are not complaining.

We woke up yesterday on a memory foam mattress, two feather pillows, and 10000 thread count egyptian cotton sheets. we also woke up to a pool party, lil wayne was blaring from the speakers, the palm trees were blowing in the breeze, and the ocean was bright and teal behind the green jungle. we heard monkeys and birds over the lil wayne and there were a million gorgeous brasilian girls dancing in the pool. where are we?? they were all so nice, so we proceeded to drink grape-koolaid and vodka for breakfasts, and learn how to dance the samba. I am not kidding-where are we?? Coolest place on earth. That is where. This is when we learned that the reason that brasilian girls have such nice posteriors is that they are always walking on cobblestone streets with 6 inch heels on. First of all, no one told me to bring my red high heels, and second of all, I can barely walk on cobblestones without tripping while wearing tennis shoes, so although the mystery was solved, the mission will not be accomplished. We have also noticed that the women only wear thongs and the men only wear speedos. People think we are conservative, and they tend to ask if we are traveling nuns. That is, until they take a sip of our kool-aid.

So after the pool party, we headed down to the beach on some moto-taxis. Mom- close your eyes for the next sentence. We hopped on the back of these crazy little motorcycles and flew through the town with the wind in our hair and the bugs in our mouths. Ok Mom, I know you read that anyways, so I will now inform you that I yes I did wear a helmet, so dont worry. we went down to a beautiful beach and people watched, quite a fun thing to do in brasil. we did not this time, however, witness any children being held at automatic gunpoiont. After the beach, we headed up to Portinos, a restaurant where you pile up food like a buffet, and then you pay by the kilo. odd, yet it works. so I ate a bunch of good brasilian food, and we then realized that we had to find a way to get our stuff back from Gustavos. luckily Rick has a friend named David that has a car (a little bug from the 70s), and we convinced him to drive us to the old couch in order to pick up our stuff so that we didnt have to take 2 busses and a ferry to get there.

We headed over there, and met up with our old pal Gustavo. We felt bad having not spent much time with him, but when we saw more poop on the floor, our decison was sealed- cliffside mansion it was. the decisions was sealed even further when ashley grabbed her pack and 7 million ants poured out of it. I thought she was going to cry. seriously. they were the tiny ones, the ones that taste like coconuts. so, we went on our way and stopped in the downtown for a little capeta. it is like a pina colada only with extra brasilian zing. we made it to the ferry just as it was leaving, and then somehow ashley talked the captain into letting her drive it. so far, she has driven 3 brasilian cars and s ship. I dont particularly enjoy driving, but she appaertnly is the new vin diesel. does that make me paul walker? I have no idea. We came back to our mansion and made some caipavodshkas, listened to some music, and enjoyed the view. We decided then and there that if someone is wearing a cape, you should listen to them.

We woke up this morning once again to a pool party in our paradise. ricks opening a bar here, so the entire staff came over to test out menu items. we have been sitting here sampling delicious food for the past few hours. seriously. life is good. almost too good. it is scaring me. knock on wood. someone just passed us a fruit salad and the odds of us not running outside and hiding behind a bush to eat the rest of it are pretty much slim to none. no problem.